Adventures in dating part 6.

A not so indecent proposal. This is the story of the closest that I’ve ever come (and probably the closest I will ever come) to having a sugar daddy. It will come of no surprise to you that I met this man on tinder. It’s a great app. Five out of seven. And honestly, I’m…

Non-scale victories that nobody tells you about.

When you lose weight, there are some accomplishments that you can look forward to that aren’t determined by the number on the scale. These can include such happy moments like- Feeling confident enough to wear a cute bikini or, for those of you like me, whose skin hisses at the sun- a cute one piece…

How to deal when your boyfriend’s friends don’t like you

Now, it might just be me. You could say that overthinking situations is my favourite past-time. If overthinking things were an Olympic event, I wouldn’t even need to train. I’d breeze past all you bitches straight to the gold medal. At that point, you’d start looking at me and wonder how I managed such an…

Secrets of a former fat girl

People always ask me how I did it. The answer is, I don’t know. One day it all just seemed to click into place. But today I want to talk about former fat girl confessions. If I’m gonna tell it, then I’m gonna tell it all. That weird thinking that seems to follow me throughout…

Adventures in dating part 5

Guess who’s back. Back again. Chantelle’s sad dating history- tell a friend. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back. Now, resilient is not often a word that is used in regards to giving blow jobs or relationships. In fact, when it comes to relationships, maybe that word shouldn’t be used….

Stuck in the middle with you.

When people try to wrap everything up in a pretty little bow but it’s okay to be in the middle of your story and keep working on things. We’re all in a rush to get there. To that end point where we feel like a winner. From 16 year olds who want to skip forward…

What my father took from me.

-The ability to trust men. When my parents split up, the agreement was that my father would keep the business and my mum would keep the family house. Even though my mum had put time and money into both, he had talked her into only putting his name on both. He sold the family home…

A love letter to my most embarrassing friend.

Let me set the scene. It’s a Friday night. You’re in bed with your boyfriend, getting down to business to defeat the Huns buns. There is no one else in the house. It’s perfect. Perfectly quiet. Nothing is stirring, not even a mouse.* Sounds great, right? What’s wrong with that. What’s wrong is what didn’t…

Beware of the friend in expert’s clothing.

Why you should always side eye people trying to “help you” lose weight if it helps them make money. Always be skeptical. *********************************************************************** So, you’re scrolling through your newsfeed and you see someone that you went to high school with is promoting some weight loss product. Not only that, but they’re promoting their amazing new…

Fear of falling.

Falling in love for the first time. I have only loved one person (in the romantic sense) in my life. And by that, I mean I have only let myself love one person. I look through my dating history and I wonder what’s the one thing that these men have in common. It’s that they…

Handy tips on how to survive being a sports widow.

Ask really annoying questions right in the most suspenseful part of the game. You don’t understand the rules so you need a thorough explanation. And hey,  do you remember when Michael Clarke was engaged to Lara Bingle? Keep score. Not of the game but of how many hours you’ve racked up watching sport that you…

Adventures in dating part 4

It’s at this point in the story that I start to feel like a bit of a shit person for rehashing embarrassing moments just to make myself and other people laugh. It’s reached a point where I should skip the rest and go to other horrific dating stories. It’s also at this point that I…