Mourning the friendship that once was.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. We are gathered here today to mourn the friendship that once was. In this relationship, my shallow heart is the only thing that’s been beating for a long time. We were once the best of friends and soon all I’ll be to you is “new phone who dis?” I…

27 life lessons that I’ve learned in 26 years

Since I meant to write this and upload it on my actual birthday (September 2nd), it’s safe to assume that I love to procrastinate. Procrastination is fun but it doesn’t get shit done. Everyone makes bad decisions (like procrastinating) sometimes. We all get caught up in making the right choice. Sure, it sucks to make…

Sometimes you just have to break the rules.

Get ready, friends because I am about to tell you a story that is as wild, wet and wooly as a beaver standing outside in the rain this morning. It involves a PSA for being aware that some other people require facilities, how I’m impatient and ignore some clearly stated rules and ends with me…

A woman’s woman.

I’ve always been a woman’s woman since the very first time I heard the Spice Girls talking about girl powers. Since that first time Ginger Spice flashed me a peace sign, I knew that I would always try to support and protect other women. I’m the kind of woman’s woman who will tell a stranger…

Adventures in dating part 6.

A not so indecent proposal. This is the story of the closest that I’ve ever come (and probably the closest I will ever come) to having a sugar daddy. It will come of no surprise to you that I met this man on tinder. It’s a great app. Five out of seven. And honestly, I’m…

Non-scale victories that nobody tells you about.

When you lose weight, there are some accomplishments that you can look forward to that aren’t determined by the number on the scale. These can include such happy moments like- Feeling confident enough to wear a cute bikini or, for those of you like me, whose skin hisses at the sun- a cute one piece…

How to deal when your boyfriend’s friends don’t like you

Now, it might just be me. You could say that overthinking situations is my favourite past-time. If overthinking things were an Olympic event, I wouldn’t even need to train. I’d breeze past all you bitches straight to the gold medal. At that point, you’d start looking at me and wonder how I managed such an…

Secrets of a former fat girl

People always ask me how I did it. The answer is, I don’t know. One day it all just seemed to click into place. But today I want to talk about former fat girl confessions. If I’m gonna tell it, then I’m gonna tell it all. That weird thinking that seems to follow me throughout…

Adventures in dating part 5

Guess who’s back. Back again. Chantelle’s sad dating history- tell a friend. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back. Now, resilient is not often a word that is used in regards to giving blow jobs or relationships. In fact, when it comes to relationships, maybe that word shouldn’t be used….

Stuck in the middle with you.

When people try to wrap everything up in a pretty little bow but it’s okay to be in the middle of your story and keep working on things. We’re all in a rush to get there. To that end point where we feel like a winner. From 16 year olds who want to skip forward…

What my father took from me.

-The ability to trust men. When my parents split up, the agreement was that my father would keep the business and my mum would keep the family house. Even though my mum had put time and money into both, he had talked her into only putting his name on both. He sold the family home…