Never let anyone tell you that spite is a bad thing.

I’m here to tell you that I’m a fan of spite. It’s a powerful motivator. Some of the biggest accomplishments in my life are due to spite.

I know, I know. Don’t look at me like that.

I know we shouldn’t do things JUST to spite other people. After all, we’ll only hurt ourselves, right? And we definitely shouldn’t want to do something just so we can rub the banana cream pie of what we did in stupid people’s stupid faces and watch the cream drip down their cheeks.

Plus, you should be positive and all. I think the whole being positive all the time is bullshit. Yes, I try to think more positively now than I used to as I am prone to Eeyoring. But people who try to act like they never think or do anything negative or anything less than farting rainbows are talking shit. There is a whole range of emotions out there- don’t limit yourself! Did Inside Out teach you nothing??

I think people can be petty and down right nasty. But I don’t think just because you’re doing something for the wrong reasons makes it the wrong decision.

My “fuck it, I’m just going to book flights and go” #YOLO #NORAGRETS trip to Japan?

I did that out of spite.

You might be wondering how you can go on holiday out of spite.

It’s easy.

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In mid 2016 I was speaking to my boyfriend about his plans for his long service leave at the end of 2017 and beginning of 2018. I have 6 weeks of holidays over December and January. I thought we should take advantage of us both having long holidays over summer and go somewhere amazing. England, America, France- anywhere! And we’d have over a year to save up. It’s the perfect plan, right? When else would we BOTH have such a long holiday break?

Never, right?

I was so inflated with giddiness and the excitement of making travel plans that my feet weren’t even touching the ground.

Then my boyfriend came along and deflated me.

He had always planned to use his long service leave to go around Australia and watch cricket matches. Especially seeing as the Ashes will be held in Australia during the 2017/2018 season.

My feet were definitely back on the ground. I was slumped over, defeated.

If I were a little bit more dramatic, I would have thrown myself out of the moving car. But I’m not that dramatic. I would have waited until the car came to a complete stop. Safety first, of course.

And I realise that people can do what they like with their holidays. It’s his long service leave, after all.

Look, if you had one shot. Or one opportunity. To seize everything you’ve ever wanted in one moment. Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?*

But what I heard was “I don’t want to take advantage of the fact that we both have a long holiday break at the same time. I’d rather watch boring cricket than have an amazing, once in a lifetime adventure with you”.

Maybe it’s because I’m not a sports person. I know the Ashes is a big thing but…the cricket over the chance to visit Harry Potter world or the Harry Potter castle?! I would have thought it would be the easy choice. After all, you can always watch cricket online. Or you could find an Australian pub to watch the game in.

I was mad. I was spiteful.

“Fuck you, I’ll go have an amazing holiday ALL BY MYSELF! I might even go by myself now and go on another holiday BY MYSELF during your long service leave! Let’s see how you like that!”

And with that- my flights to Japan were booked. After a few hours of Googling the safest places for a young white woman to travel by herself were. Safety first, of course.

295.JPG
Does spite take a vacation?

If I hadn’t been feeling spiteful towards my boyfriend, I wouldn’t have taken the leap and booked a holiday for myself.

I’ve always wanted to travel by myself but something has held me back. Maybe it was fear and spite overrided that.

172
Frozen Butterbeer is better than 60% of all of my sexual encounters. It is that good.

 

It’s not the best reason in the world for a spontaneous adventure but I wouldn’t have had this amazing experience if I hadn’t felt so spiteful.

368
Come to Japan for the spite. Stay for the period themed cocktails.

 

***********************************************************************

I was spiteful when my crazy ex-friend told me she hoped that I rebounded and gained back all the weight that I lost. I wanted to prove her wrong. I couldn’t let her win.

It’s not like I thought “I’m doing this to prove her wrong” when I was working out. However, she did spur me on to move to a new gym and change up my routine.

I knew I had it within me to lose more weight. I knew I was stronger than some narcissistic coward. I knew I could do it.

I let the spite drive me initially. Then I found classes that I LOVED doing. I had trainers and other gym members approach me to say that I was doing a great job. By that moment it was all about improving myself for myself. Not to prove anyone wrong. But to prove myself right.

I joined a 12 week challenge. So not only did I NOT gain back the weight I had lost in 2013, but in 2015, I lost 16 kilos in 12 weeks.**

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I’m going to start marketing spite as a fat burner. It really boils the blood and speeds up the heart rate.

 

 

And like I said in a previous post, take your hurt and turn it into something positive.

I might have started off trying to lose more weight in a spiteful and bitter state of mind. And it made me better. It made me the happiest I’ve ever been.

 

Don’t let anyone tell you that spite is a bad thing. I’m here to tell you that it’s great. I don’t know where I’d be without it.

 

“My talent was the uncompromising ability to feel spite.”
― Natsuo Kirino, Grotesque

 

 

 

 

 

 

*mom’s spaghetti

**in addition to the 30 kilos I lost in 2013.

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