Handy tips on how to survive being a sports widow.

  • Ask really annoying questions right in the most suspenseful part of the game. You don’t understand the rules so you need a thorough explanation. And hey,  do you remember when Michael Clarke was engaged to Lara Bingle?
  • Keep score. Not of the game but of how many hours you’ve racked up watching sport that you can now respond with that many hours of Jane the Virgin on him.
  • Masturbate.
  • Make sure your phone is at a decent charge. If you watch 2 minutes of the game at a time (make sure your eyes aren’t drawn to the more interesting screen during this period) then it’s like you actually watched a full game. Besides, it’s important to have breaks.
  • Come to terms with the fact that it’s a never ending hell. Sure, cricket season may end soon but then it will start again. Again and again and again.

 

 

 

The author would like to distance herself from any comments made about Big Bash League being somewhat entertaining and more interesting than test matches.

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